meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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