You're completely useless in the revolution.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude i'm inner monologue high
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
