this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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