Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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