Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
