I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
