I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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