i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
