is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
