You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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