My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
