seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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