I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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