I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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