dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
