kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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