Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There are leaves in my underwear?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
