dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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