Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
