OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
