He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
