i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
