whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
