yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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