I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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