dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
