I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
