He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
