I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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