don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
