They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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