Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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