I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize