Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize