Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
