so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
