grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
