So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
