That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
