i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
