you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
