I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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