would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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