mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
