He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
