Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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