I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
