i jhust puked up my retainher.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You ate ashes out of my bong
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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