I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
