; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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