I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
