Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
