...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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