Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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