That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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